does the goodness of life every just – overwhelm – you?
I know that hardships rock our souls like big waves on the ocean’s shore.
I know that daily trials can drain our hearts dry.
Harsh words can rub salt in wounds.
Daily in and outs pull and tug for our attention when what we want is to strive for the better reality.
But does the goodness – the simple pleasures, the big sky, the kind smile, the sweet songs, the rain storms, the good friends, the yummy, hot meal, the hug from a parent – ever overwhelm you?
I woke up the other day, repenting. It was a moment of true honesty. I didn’t realize – I wasn’t meaning to, but I was full of anxious thoughts at any given moment. It all – the it all of life – was all caught up and stuck in my head. I wrote to do lists. I planned out the week in my pretty agenda. I made sure I had the month together in my iPhone’s iCal. I had succumbed to all of the other little things, just like our sweet friend, Jesus’ sweet friend, Martha in Scripture.
These anxious thoughts – it was not some constant state of anxiety, it was not an overt worry that was overtaking my life. I was enjoying. I was savoring. I was, sometimes. But other times, I went into, as Tyler tenderly calls it, work mode. I was trying to be efficient to do ALL of my long, ever-growing to do list in what little, volatile time I had. And I kept it all crammed in my little head.
So the other day, I woke up and repented. of my anxious thoughts. of thinking I was the grown up. of thinking I had to have it all together, I had to make it work. I had to get it all done. It’s not that now I am free to be lazy, free to let it all go, free to be selfish. Laziness and let-it-go attitude and selfishness is slavery. Just like anxious thoughts. I do not want to trade one slavery for another.
I gave up my anxious thoughts for freedom in Christ. He is the way, the truth, and the life. He is my all in all.
I gave up anxious thoughts for these thoughts :
I am His child.
He takes care of me.
He orders my day. He is the God of Order, the God of the Day. He is God.
I am to enjoy Him. I am to enjoy His gifts to me, namely, Tyler, my son, my family and my friends.
I am to steward well His gifts to me.
I am to walk in His way, I am to know and believe and live in His truth, I am to live in His life. Christ is Life, the hope of glory.
I am to live, redeeming the time, not sucking out of life all of the time and energy and effort that I can put forth in a day, thinking when my head hits the pillow, wow I am exhausted. I am spent. Instead, I am to lie down, resting in His sweet sovereignty and goodness, His protection and provision, contented, happy, redeeming even the gift of sleep.
I am to say “Blessed be the name of the LORD.”
So often we want to change what we do. But the Lord often is calling us to a changed mind.
Scripture calls us to transformed thoughts by the renewing of our mind, through the washing of the water of His word.
Scripture says “blessed in the man who meditates on the Word of God.” This is for women, too. This is for me.
And I can testify, after repenting, after a come to Jesus morning, after bathing in His precious Word, in His precious fount filled with blood flowing from Emmanuel’s veins, I am standing as His child, filled with His Spirit, His mind, His heart. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
And I am His, and He is mine. And life is worth the living because He lives.