* the first three months or so…

Come to Me

Psalm 139 has really spoken to me throughout this first trimester. It just covers all of the bases. I mean, it talks about how I’ve been created, how the Lord hems me in – bless the LORD! -, how this precious life is being created, and that it. is. all. FOR HIS GLORY.

Let’s read Psalm 139 together, shall we?

O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain.
Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
(Psalm 139 ESV)

There is so much, so much that someone could say as the Lord teaches us through this passage. I’m so grateful to the Lord for preserving this awesome piece of Scripture for us to read, to learn Him, to learn who we are.

A couple of things that the Lord has personally taught me during these first several weeks of pregnancy is that my body is His.

And pregnancy – and then taking care of this precious child with my body, with my mind, and with my soul – is a sacrifice of myself. Perhaps the greatest sacrifice that He will ever call me to.

And I just worship Him for that.

My body, loosing its mind and gaining curves. My body, desiring simple carbs and never knowing what will settle well on its tummy. My body, stretched and strained, tired and uncomfortable.

My body, like Ann Voskamp says of hers, swollen with life. (I just LOVE this imagery!)

Right here in my own home, the Lord calls me to die to myself. Calls me to take up my cross. Calls me to follow Him.

Leave comfort and convenience. Leave ideals and frills. Leave selfishness and superficial self-worth.

And COME. TO. ME.

Sacrifice your body, Rachel. Give it to this baby. Give it to the Lord.

Sacrifice your mind, Rachel. (Pregnancy brain is something else, I’ll tell ya.)

Sacrifice your hold-it-all-togetherness, since one. you don’t anyways, and two. there’s freedom living in the reality that the LORD is the One that holds it together.

Whatever little thing, give it. Just like the rich, young ruler who Jesus told, leave your money (the little thing, a huge hindrance for this man) and come follow me (THE ONE). But I don’t want to leave sad like he did. I want to give it. And gladly follow and live for the Lord.

I want to offer to this precious child, and to Leland, a cool cup of water, because whatever we do for the little children, we do unto the Lord.

I love how once  we leave the stench, the chains, the death of self and sin, we come into Christ, who is LIFE. And we realize, this was no sacrifice at all. I left DEATH so that He could give me LIFE.

This precious life inside of me is not to be viewed as an inconvenience to my self-image and self-worth; this baby is valued a precious gift, which the child is!

Christ is no longer misunderstood as asking me to give up anything, but asking me to empty my hands of all vain things that I may take hold of what is truly life.

Lord, as You call me into You, and call me to carry this life, I desire that I will glorify you, mind, body, heart, and soul, right where I am, with this baby growing inside.

psalm 139
{photo courtesy of everyday clever}

2 thoughts on “* the first three months or so…

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