I wanted to write for Monday. I wanted to complete another blog post, another commitment to myself, to the Lord, to write for Monday. to write for Him. to write for whoever reads this little blog (thanks, reader!:)
But I didn’t know what to write.
After complaining to my sister about the shower I had to take and the effort it requires to get the three of us to church and realizing I am a spoiled brat (I mean come on! I was complaining about SHOWERING and GOING TO CHURCH)
I was sad that church hadn’t been “long enough.” Truly, because it was so good. SO good to sit and soak in hymns and preaching and people all around who love me. and told me I looked nice today. I mean it was heavenly :)…
And then we experienced “crash+burn” half way through Target after church. So in complete silence with tears streaming down our faces, we drove home through our nice neighborhood in our nice car and walked stone-faced into our nice home.
I then had the holy privilege of leading my child once again to right, to good, to Jesus Himself. We really did have a come-to-Jesus meeting. And we all three survived.
But I was still scraped up and struggling. I struggled to find the words, to find the feeling. I didn’t know what in the world. I mean, seriously, what in the world.
And then after a good nap, a good time of being nursed by the Spirit of the Lord, I read this article :
(I can’t just include a quote – the entire article is just. so. good.)
I knew it the minute I read it. Yep, I was sinning – I was discontented, grumbling and complaining. Over some pretty big-to-me things that I am just ready. ready. ready. for the Lord to answer. I might have even muttered under my breath “Lead me to the Promised Land, Lord.” (knowing full well the promised land is on the other side of the sun)
but the thing is as I am waiting on this big-to-me thing and running that around and around with the Lord, it’s true : the littlest thing can set me off. usually when I am a little bit tired. or a little bit… off.
And yes – I hate it. I get on myself. I ask the Lord – what in the world!? I tell Him – I cannot do this. And yep, I really can’t.
But the thing is. He has given me a way out. out of this temptation of grumbling and complaining.
The way out of grumbling, the way through to His good, the way to contentment is repenting + rejoicing.
Once again, Lord, I repent of my selfish, stupid, silly sin. But this time, Lord, I think it’s different. You’ve woven together this moment and these words from You, from this article, from this sister in Christ, to reveal to me where I am tripping up, where I keep on stepping right in the muck and mire of sin. And, Lord, I am so sorry. I repent of my sin. I flee from grumbling and complaining and the yuck-of-discontentment. I pray you forgive me, set me in Your righteous rejoicing. And You say You will and You do. Thank you – thank you so much for sending your only own Son to shed His blood for me, for the forgiveness of my sin. Thank you for raising Him from the dead, that there’s real, today, and real, eternal victory over my sin. Lord, thank you. Thank you. As you have called me to contentment this year, I see how you are rooting out all of the weeds of discontent that have curled around my heart. I pray it is different this time. I pray I am different – new, fresh, content, free in You. Free to enjoy you and free to rejoice in You. You’ve given me Your Son – and all things – even Your Spirit – to live a life of love and godliness. O Lord, thank you. Amen.
And I claim these verses by the presence and power of the Holy Spirit —
I will rejoice in the Lord always and again I will say rejoice!
You are my great joy!
Today – even Monday 🙂 – is the day that the Lord has made and I will I will I will REJOICE and BE GLAD in it.
Thank you Lord for lifting me up and out of the yucky mire of my sin and for setting me on the Rock of the Redeemed. Thank you for making my feet secure, and my song a strong one in You. I praise You, Lord, and I pray as I fear you and rejoice in You and Your Good Life in me, that many will see and fear the Lord, putting their trust in You…