It has been a while since I’ve written. Graciously I have been encouraged to return to writing.
I haven’t been able to find the words.
I want Jesus. I want Jesus for you.
I want to write this and not to miss Him. I want you to read this and to get Him.
13 and a half weeks ago I took a pregnancy test. In the quiet of the morning. In the pre-sunlit hours of the day. I stood before the Lord. I sat still with Jesus. The test was positive.
Today I am 17 and a half weeks pregnant.
What do I do with this, Lord? What do I do with you? What are you doing with me?
“He is not safe, but He is Good.”
I had been in a waiting-place for a while. I had gotten comfortable. He made me lie down. I was content.
Now. This. You, Lord.
I stepped, stepped, stepped upstairs and sat down beside Tyler. He was just waking up. I handed him a steeping mug of coffee. “Anchor” is painted on the side.
He is the Anchor of our Soul.
I also handed him the pregnancy test.
Lord. — Could it be true? Are You True?
Fatigued. Foggy. Falling into bed.
My heart may fail, but You are my portion forever.
Sick with life. Blessedly nauseous. Growing. Widening. Swelling. Still.
In 2 weeks we go to the doctor, again. We will (please, Lord) hear the heart. beating. We will find out, boy or girl. We will name our littlest love.
“You knit together… You form in the inmost places.”
You steady my heart. You are my Strength.
Don’t for a minute think “well good now that waiting time is over now we can get on with life and move along and…”
Jesus is worth the wait. Christ is life. In Him we live and move and have our being.
Pass not our gentle Savior. Thank Him. Praise His holy name. Behold the Lamb. Walk with the Good Shepherd, the Overseer of our Souls.
And with me pray for this little life, that His will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. For the glory of His great name.